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AFL2011…Tallyroom 05….Sept.2011
The Top..The Bottom and the Disqualified...!!
Another season of Home and Aways and another set of disqualifications.
JLP cannot help but ask himself…how hard is it to use your
wildcards..???
Dick Dozy has been a Tipster for over
five Tipcomps and has never yet been able to use all his
wildcards.
A perfect record..!!! .....100%
disqualification. .....Ditto
Klever Dick. ......Unbelievable..!!
In total JLP has the pleasure of disqualifying six Tipsters
this year.
The tipping season is over for Derma Deus, Klever
Dick, Adonis, Dick Dozy, Macman and Sid
Knee. Thank you gentlemen..you may retire to the
bench for the finals series.
The top and bottom of the Ladder has been well contested
this year.... Ladder69
and ThurraBread, courtesy of a fluked draw
in round 2, have been exchanging the top possie for the
season. ...Mozart,
Pettygrew and NetStalker have
tipped their socks off to stay in touch with the two runaway
leaders. .....Jetta,
Kane Tode, Blue Vicar, SnapShoota
and half a dozen others have tipped well enough to give
themselves a good chance at getting some of the minor prizes.
Tragically JLP is nowhere to be seen..!!
On the abysmal tipping side of the ledger we have LowWatermark,
JayJay and the aptly named Chief Nerd
in a real dogfight for the Woodie. ..FastForward,
until she forgot to tip in round 24, was also in the mix.
So that there can be no dispute as to who is our worst tipper
in AFL2011 these four Tipsters can NOT tip draws for the
Finals series. ...Repeating….
FastForward, LowWaterMark, JayJay and
Chief Nerd cannot tip draws for any remaining games.
If you do JLP will call your draw tips as wins for you and
you will get plus five points.
JLP will take this opportunity to apologise to Tipsters
for the lack of penmanship this season. Many matters have
intruded upon JLP this season preventing JLP from giving
quality time to hosting our regular foray into the AFL.
...For JLP business has been
worse than my tipping. .....Litigation
hovers in the background.
And, off course, family matters are ever present…..
……Just last week JLP decided it was time for a chat about
the birds and the bees with HareJelly,
the youngest son. JLP opted for the direct approach…..”Son…it’s
that time of your life where we had a father to son talk
about sex….birds and the bees….that kinda thing.”
“Don’t worry about it Dad” said HareJelly
“I had a root on the weekend.” JLP, understandably, was
mortified. Gaping in disbelief at HareJelly
JLP said..” No..geez…what…not poss…serious…who..??”
“That blonde chick who lives round the corner.” said HareJelly.
“I thought that was the girl that really hated you” JLP
responded.
“Yep….that’s the one.” Said HareJelly.
“Geeez” said JLP “I hope you used protection son..!!!”
Smiling HareJelly said “Sure did Dad…balaclava.”
JLP is still reeling..!!
Gotta go.
For Tipsters who are still contenders…..Good Luck.
JLP
AFL2011…Tallyroom 04….July.2011
Tipsters…..Use Your Wildcards ...!!
Tipsters….round.18 is here.
JLP has been lazy beyond belief this Tipcomp….age is taking
it’s toll.
Do not let it be said however that JLP is not here to help.
The battle at both ends of the Ladder is now on in earnest.
To help Tipsters in the run to the finals Tipsters can find
below a list of unused wildcards in AFL2011.
Time is short(ish)…to avoid disqualification….
USE YOUR WILDCARDS before the end of the
home and away season.
JLP has gotta go now…(but will be back soon)
Tipster........Wildcard
9Teen66 .........Adelaide
9Teen66 .........Gold Coast
Abdul ...............Richmond
Adonis .............Brisbane
Lions
Adonis ............Gold Coast
Adonis ............Port Adelaide
Adonis ............St Kilda
BarbellBarby ..Adelaide
BarbellBarby ..Essendon
BarbellBarby ..Gold Coast
BarbellBarby ..Kangaroos
BarbellBarby ..St Kilda
BarbellBarby ..Sydney
BlueVicar ........Gold Coast
BlueVicar .......Kangaroos
Brownose .......Adelaide
Brownose .......Gold Coast
Brownose .......St Kilda
ChiefNerd ......Richmond
Chiseller .........Gold Coast
Cocomum ......St Kilda
ColonelSanders ..Adelaide
ColonelSanders.. Carlton
ColonelSanders.. Geelong
ColonelSanders ..Gold Coast
ColonelSanders ..Kangaroos
ColonelSanders ..Port Adelaide
ColonelSanders ..West Coast
ComradeGagarin ..Adelaide
ComradeGagarin ..Kangaroos
ComradeGagarin ..Melbourne
ComradeGagarin ..St Kilda
ConnieKhorde .......Gold Coast
ConnieKhorde .......Port Adelaide
CutNBlow ...............Adelaide
CutNBlow ...............Collingwood
CutNBlow ...............St
Kilda
DermaDeus ..........Adelaide
DermaDeus.......... Fremantle
DermaDeus ..........Gold Coast
DermaDeus.......... Kangaroos
DickDozy............. Brisbane
Lions
DickDozy ..............Fremantle
DickDozy ..............Gold
Coast
DickDozy ..............Kangaroos
DickDozy.............. Melbourne
DickDozy ...............Western
Bulldogs
DonJuan ................Gold
Coast
DrFeel................... Sydney
ElJai .......................Adelaide
ElJai ......................Gold
Coast
ElJai .......................Kangaroos
EtherDealer ..........Gold
Coast
EtherDealer ..........Kangaroos
FastForward ..........West
Coast
FibberMcGoo ..........Adelaide
FibberMcGoo ..........Carlton
FibberMcGoo.......... Collingwood
FibberMcGoo.......... Gold
Coast
FibberMcGoo ..........Port
Adelaide
FruitTingle ................Adelaide
FruitTingle .................Brisbane
Lions
FruitTingle ................Gold
Coast
FruitTingle................
Kangaroos
Hal2011 ..........Brisbane
Lions
Hal2011.......... Collingwood
Hal2011.......... St Kilda
Hardyakka ..........Gold Coast
Hardyakka ..........Kangaroos
Hardyakka.......... St Kilda
HareJelly.......... Brisbane
Lions
HareJelly.......... Carlton
HareJelly ..........Gold Coast
HareJelly ..........Kangaroos
HareJelly ..........Richmond
HollywoodHunk ..........Gold
Coast
JayJay ..........Carlton
JayJay.......... Collingwood
JayJay ..........Hawthorn
JayJay ..........Kangaroos
JayJay ..........Sydney
JimB ..........Carlton
JimB ..........St Kilda
JLP ..........Collingwood
JLP ..........Melbourne
JLP ..........St Kilda
KaneTode ..........Gold Coast
KleverDick ..........Adelaide
KleverDick.......... Brisbane
Lions
KleverDick ..........Carlton
KleverDick.......... Collingwood
KleverDick ..........Essendon
KleverDick ..........Fremantle
KleverDick.......... Hawthorn
KleverDick ..........Kangaroos
KleverDick ..........Melbourne
KleverDick.......... Richmond
KleverDick ..........Sydney
KleverDick ..........West Coast
KleverDick.......... Western
Bulldogs
Ladder69 ..........Adelaide
Ladder69 ..........Gold Coast
LowWatermark ..........Collingwood
LowWatermark ..........Fremantle
LowWatermark.......... Geelong
LowWatermark ..........Kangaroos
Macman.......... Brisbane Lions
Macman.......... Fremantle
Macman.......... St Kilda
Mercurial ..........Gold Coast
Mozart ..........Collingwood
Mozart ..........Kangaroos
Multivac.......... Gold Coast
Multivac ..........Melbourne
NetStalker.......... Gold Coast
NetStalker.......... St Kilda
Onya ..........Kangaroos
Ozipom.......... Gold Coast
Partner ..........Gold Coast
Partner ..........St Kilda
Pettygrew ..........St Kilda
PuntersPal ..........Kangaroos
RaidersFan ..........Gold Coast
RooBoy ..........Brisbane Lions
RooBoy ..........Gold Coast
RooBoy ..........St Kilda
RunningSmoke ..........Adelaide
RunningSmoke.......... Kangaroos
RunningSmoke ..........Port
Adelaide
RunningSmoke.......... Richmond
RunningSmoke ..........West
Coast
Scoutski ..........Brisbane
Lions
Scoutski.......... Melbourne
SidKnee.......... Collingwood
SidKnee.......... Essendon
SidKnee.......... Fremantle
SidKnee.......... Gold Coast
SidKnee.......... Kangaroos
SidKnee ..........Melbourne
SidKnee.......... Port Adelaide
SidKnee ..........Richmond
SidKnee.......... West Coast
SidKnee.......... Western Bulldogs
SnapShoota ..........Gold Coast
SnapShoota.......... St Kilda
Stallion ..........Adelaide
Stallion.......... Brisbane
Lions
Stallion.......... Carlton
Stallion ..........Collingwood
Stallion ..........Essendon
Stallion ..........Fremantle
Stallion ..........Geelong
Stallion.......... Gold Coast
Stallion ..........Hawthorn
Stallion ..........Kangaroos
Stallion.......... Melbourne
Stallion.......... Port Adelaide
Stallion.......... Richmond
Stallion.......... St Kilda
Stallion ..........Sydney
Stallion ..........West Coast
Stallion ..........Western
Bulldogs
Stickhead ..........Collingwood
Stickhead ..........Gold Coast
Stickhead.......... Richmond
Stickhead.......... Sydney
Stork ..........Adelaide
Stork.......... Brisbane Lions
SunnyBoy ..........Gold Coast
SunnyBoy.......... Kangaroos
TeaSea.......... Brisbane Lions
TheSaint ..........Adelaide
TheSaint.......... Fremantle
TheSaint.......... Melbourne
TheSaint.......... Port Adelaide
TheSaint.......... Western
Bulldogs
Underpar ..........Carlton
Underpar ..........Fremantle
Underpar ..........Gold Coast
Underpar.......... Hawthorn
Underpar ..........Kangaroos
Underpar ..........Melbourne
Underpar.......... Port Adelaide
Underpar....................
St Kilda
Underpar ..........West Coast
VodkaBoy ..........Carlton
VodkaBoy.......... Collingwood
VodkaBoy.......... Fremantle
Wazzadon.......... Kangaroos
Wheels.......... Adelaide
Wheels ..........Carlton
Wheels ..........Gold Coast
Wheels.......... Richmond
Wheels ..........St Kilda
Xerxes ..........Brisbane Lions
Xerxes.......... Gold Coast
Xerxes ..........Kangaroos
Xerxes.......... Port Adelaide
YakuzaSilk ..........St Kilda
Thurs..12.01.11......8.00 pm....Scoutski
Round.4 tips....
Collingwood..(with wildcard)..Hawthorn..Carlton..Sydney..Adelaide..Freeo..Melbourne..(Sorry
Suns)..!!
AFL2011…Tallyroom 03….April.2011
Multivac Dons His Hob Nail Boots
...!!
Okay…AFL2011 is now well underway.
Some may think that there have been a few teething problems
during the transition from old tipping website to new tipping
website…but this is, off course, not true. .....JLP
and the Tallyroom team do not make mistakes. Long term Tipsters
will be well aware of that.
For those of you who are not aware of the absolute infallibility
of JLP Multivac, on behalf of JLP, sent
an email out to Tipsters a day or so before the first game
of this season. .....The email
was a wonderful piece of penmanship and JLP has great pleasure
in tabling a few words from it for your edification….
”If you are having problems….the problem is at your
end”
”If you are still having problems ask your kids how to use
a computer”
Multivac, over the past weekend, was sent
to New Zealand by his employers to make good computer issues
being encountered by the New Zealand Reserve Bank. ....Multivac
has indicated the remedial work could take as much as two
weeks. .....This will leave
JLP in charge of all matters AFL back here in OZ…including
software issues…for the immediate future. ...........Be
Afraid..!!
Tipster Information Guide.
JLP has fine tuned the operating guide for AFL2011.
Firstly…The tipping cutoff time has been
moved back one hour.
The 6:00 pm tipping deadline on the day of the first game
of each round has been changed to 7:00 pm for the remainder
of the season.
Despite this enormous gesture of generosity JLP would still
encourage Tipsters to TIP EARLY each and every week. Tips
can be changed as often as you want before the 7:00 deadline.
Secondly…mainly for the Newbees…a restatement
of the wildcard rule..
Losing Wildcards will score minus five points per loss.
(Note………Draws are considered to be a loss.)
This rule is reprinted here because so many Tipsters foolishly
used their St Kilda wildcard in round.2 when Richmond and
St. Kilda drew.
The AFL2011 round.2 Ladder does not yet reflect the scores
for the round.2 losing St Kilda wildcards….but it soon will..!!!
Thirdly… Should any Tipster at any time
have any issues with tipping the first course of action
is to email the Tallyroom.
Tipster Update…
We welcome Abdul to our Tipcomp. ....Abdul
is a man of the twenty first century….a century where it
is well accepted that the worst vocations are those within
financial institutions or arms dealers. ....JLP
can confirm that Abdul has no involvement
whatsoever with any financial institution.
ABumFullOfEels also joins us this year.
JLP knows nothing about ABumFullOfEels…but
with a name like that who’d want to.
TeaSea is back again. ....Over
the summer, to serve our community better TeaSea
took a job helping Lifeline on the suicide hotline. ....For
those of you that don’t know the suicide hotline is where
they talk to you till you don’t feel like killing yourself….exactly
the opposite of telemarketing.
Scarlett, who likes to be addressed as
Your Munificence, is back for more.
Representing the musical inclined of the younger generation
HareJelly has fronted up again. .Sadly
HareJelly does not appreciate classical
musicians such as Jimmy Hendrix, The Beatles or Stones......
Harejelly is more into bands with names
like "Heave" and "Squatting Turnips."
JLP would be remiss not to mention Thurra Bread....
Thurra Bread started AFL2011 with her sights firmly
set on the Woodie. ...When
her round.1 tip for a draw in the Sydney Melbourne game
came good there was no-one more shocked Thurra Bread.
....The pub in downtown Yass
has been crowded out for the past week by Thurra
Breads relatives who have come from near and far
to help her celebrate her fluke.
JLP has to go. As caretaker of the AFL2011 tipping website
JLP has a lot of drinking to do.
JLP
AFL2011…Tallyroom 02….February.2011
JLP Giveth…..JLP Taketh Away...!!
Welcome Tipsters..!!
There’s good news…..and bad news.
AFL2011….Rules Update
AFL2011 heralds a new era. .......No
More Late Tips After Deadline.
JLP is now, hereinafter and forevermore immune to emotional
blackmailing regarding tipping deadlines. No more Mr nice
guy. .......Tipsters take note
that no excuse (or bribe).. will be able to change your
tips after the tipping deadline. .........Don’t
bother asking.!!
For Ether Dealer, Kane Toad
and those many other Tipsters who didn’t even know we had
rules JLP has cutandpasted the deadline rule to the bottom
of this footie report……At this point the veteran Tipster,
more astute after decades of footie tipping, will scroll
forward to the end and be able to ignore anything JLP has
put in between ...........(Tallyroom
personnel urge Tipsters to read all the rules.)
AFL2011….Tipping Website Update
As the first round of footie draws nearer AFL2011 is taking
shape.
End February sees us with many of last years wannabees
signed up for another year….you’d think they would learn......
Multivac has decided to rewrite the Tipping
Website for AFL2011. ...Because
Multivac is so time efficient, He has opted
to change the band-aids on the mainframe at the same time.
.....Multivac
intends to resolve wildcard issues. ....Tallyroom
staff are optimistic that the new program will actually
work.
AFL2011….Prizemoney Update
Thanks to the more inept of AFL2010….those six Tipsters
who were disqualified, there is a cash carry-over of $110.oo
into AFL2011. (Our thanks to HareJelly, Dick Dozy
Seiko and their IQ deficient friends for the cash)
After final acceptances JLP will update the Prizemoney
link….asuming JLP hasn’t been given a hot tip from Thurra
Bread between now and then.
AFL2011….And The Year Ahead
Another season…….like a snake shedding its skin AFL2011
is here.
As the AFL welcome their new team for this years footie
so too will AFL2011 welcome a few new Tipsters….(more mug
moolah.)
AFL2011 Acceptances drift in. JLP has put acceptances,
to date, on the ‘scrolling ladder’ so Tipsters can see the
mediocrity of their AFL2011 opposition.
There is every reason to believe that AFL2011 will be more
exciting than watching paint dry. ....Previous
Tipcomps have always been tight......
Fibber McGoo’s one point win in AFL2010..!!
...And who will ever forget
9Teen66.s turncoat tip in the 2009 Grand
Final which saw him home by two points in AFL2009. ...Even
more exciting….it is highly expected that this year JLP’s
appalling eighteen year bad luck footie tipping streak will
end….probably in highly suspicious circumstances.
Already this year many Tipsters have expressed their enthusiasm
about playing their Gold Coast wildcard.
JLP has only reasonable expectation of AFL2011…. to win.
Footie is not the only thing lurking around the corner….there
is also THORPEE.
Didya hear…!!! Thorpee’s back. Thorpee has decided to nick
over to London next year and snag another five years on
the nations’ front page by winning another sackful of gold
to feed to the media. You gotta give it to ThorPee. He’s
cunning as an outhouse mammal. He’s pulled a claytons retirement.
Thorpees tactic of spending five years on the modeling businessman
image, pudging up, has now put fear in the hearts of all
things aquatic and give certainty to an Ozzie populace reeling
under the effects of pinkogreeno Canberra. Goodonya Thorpee.
You got the right attitude. What difference could a measly
five years outa swimming possibly make..?
That’s it for now. Keep an eye on this website.
Nearer footie kickoff Tipsters will be notified by email
to check out the Tallyroom website and put the new tipping
website through its paces.
The Tipping Deadline rule follows……read it..!
JLP
Tipping Deadline Rule Re-enforced
The tipping deadline rule reads as follows….
Tipping Deadline...
Courtesy of Multivac the tipping website will be up and
running again in 2011. Tips for all matches must be lodged
before the first game of each round.
You must lodge all your tips BEFORE 6:00 pm on the day
of the first game of each round. It is usually a Friday….but
beware…..there are variations.
If the first match is a day game the tipping deadline for
that round will be Midday on the day of the first game.
Absolutely no tips for the round are accepted after the
deadline has passed. If you fail to tip your default selections
will be the Away teams for that round.
If you wish you can tip months ahead.
You can change your tips as many times as you want……any
time up to the weekly deadline.
It is entirely your responsibility to get your tips in
on time.
The Tallyroom won’t accept any bleeding heart
excuses about tips being late. There are no exceptions to
missing the deadline……you get the away teams.
AFL2011…Tallyroom 01..January...2011
One Tipster Signed & Paid Up
for AFL2011..!!
It's not JLP......Who do you think it is....??
JLP
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